Family Ties

First I want to say I love my family. The one I have now that is. I know back in my day many kids grew up with situation simalar to mine and id never be the one to claim I had it the worst. But I did grow up in what would have been discribed as a disfuntional family. It changed me in ways that made me socialy awkward and not very outward emotional. I've even been called num. But growing up the way I did its just the way you learned to get by.

Now that im older and met the great family that welcomed into their own when i married my wife, i still find it hard to relate at times.

Today is an example, its the fourth anniversary of my farther-in-laws death due to cancer. Once again find my self confused by my wife and her sisters need to celebrate the date by being sad, depressed and morbid. I might be num but don't get me wrong I know loss of life is a sad thing. I've known loss many times over such as my grandparents before I was even a teen, my mother at a young age from cancer, my brother before his 33rd year. Even the lose of the man they called farther was felt in my heart. But the annual need to return to sadness confuses me. Do they think it honors him for them to be sad. Do they think that's what that man or anyone who has past wants of them?

Let it be know to anyone who reads this. If I ever die and leave behind loved ones to morn me I do not what that. Instead I want people to be thankful I had my time with them and be glad whatever suffering I may have endored has ended.

Joe Mace was a great guy, My time with him was brief and we had our opposing moments but we got past them and had great respect for each other. I've been told many times we have alot in common. So I wonder if he too would ask that after four years the mourning stop and instead just spend the day thinking happy thoughts of the time he was here.

I LOVE MY FAMILY AND I HATE TO SEE THEM SAD!

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